Today March 3rd, It has been seventh months since I got deported. For the last 7 months I kept thinking, Today will be the day that Congressman, Darren Soto will call me to tell me ‘Alejandra you can come back.’ I spoke with him two weeks ago and he says things are looking promising. I know within my heart that he is doing everything possible for things to happen, but I realized that is not healthy for me to keep leaving like this, waiting for that call. I am tired of being sad all the time. I know I have to make a change in my life for my daughter’s health. She lives with me and it is not healthy for her to see me sad and crying all the time. Three days ago I went to downtown and saw many needy people asking for money including little kids. I saw that they looked happy -happier than me. So, I got home, texted my oldest child in Florida and asked her for permission to be happier. I needed her permission because I feel guilty for trying to be happy even though she is not here with me. I feel I should not be happy without her. When I told her that I was going to try to be happier and if she could forgive me for all the pain I have caused her because of my poor decisions. She said “yes mom try to be happy and do things. I love you and don’t want to see you sad anymore.”
II have finally started feeling some type of healing. I have to move on, I know that. I also understood that this was God’s will for me, even though I can’t understand it now, and while I am still waiting, praying and hoping for that call with the news that I can go back to my home in Florida, I have decided to be a happier person and to leave my problems in God’s hand.